1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:02,850 Hi, glad you're back. Let me catch you up. 2 00:00:02,886 --> 00:00:04,352 Elka won a spot on city council. 3 00:00:04,387 --> 00:00:07,272 - [Laughs] You won! - I won! 4 00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:09,891 Victoria shared an academy award with Helen Mirren. 5 00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,809 And the Oscar goes to Helen Mirren. 6 00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:13,895 [Bleep]! 7 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,114 - And Victoria chase. - What? 8 00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:18,199 - It's a tie! - Both: [Scream] 9 00:00:18,234 --> 00:00:20,985 And Joy was proposed to by three guys on the same night... 10 00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:22,787 Simon, Mitch, and Bob. 11 00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:23,955 But before she could answer, 12 00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:26,124 she was knocked out by Simon, Mitch, and Bob. 13 00:00:26,159 --> 00:00:29,577 Oh, she's not gonna like that picture. 14 00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:30,662 Better start the show. 15 00:00:31,831 --> 00:00:33,665 Which do you think is the biggest news... 16 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,250 Who Joy has chosen to marry 17 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:40,505 or the latest development in my super-exciting career? 18 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,485 Probably Joy's thing. 19 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,320 But you haven't heard my thing yet. 20 00:00:47,355 --> 00:00:50,740 I haven't heard joy's thing either. 21 00:00:50,775 --> 00:00:53,242 All right, I'm gonna tell you anyway. 22 00:00:53,278 --> 00:00:55,945 I am flying to New York this afternoon 23 00:00:55,947 --> 00:00:58,448 to star in a movie with Brad Pitt. 24 00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,616 Brad Pitt! 25 00:01:00,618 --> 00:01:03,369 I might actually see one of your movies. 26 00:01:04,539 --> 00:01:07,840 I was about to accept the lead in an HBO drama 27 00:01:07,876 --> 00:01:11,177 when my darling Co-Oscar-winning Helen Mirren called. 28 00:01:11,212 --> 00:01:13,963 Oh, she had to pass on the Brad Pitt movie, 29 00:01:14,015 --> 00:01:16,132 so she recommended me. 30 00:01:16,134 --> 00:01:17,217 Oh. 31 00:01:17,233 --> 00:01:20,851 It's just so beautiful the way we a-listers give freely. 32 00:01:27,743 --> 00:01:30,160 I'm back! 33 00:01:30,196 --> 00:01:31,745 Oh, it's so good to be home. 34 00:01:31,781 --> 00:01:33,747 Oh, and it's so good to have you home. 35 00:01:33,783 --> 00:01:34,999 But where's Melanie? 36 00:01:35,034 --> 00:01:36,283 I thought she was driving you from the hospital. 37 00:01:36,285 --> 00:01:37,668 Yes, she was, 38 00:01:37,703 --> 00:01:39,286 but the doctor said I should avoid stressful situations. 39 00:01:39,288 --> 00:01:41,455 Did she say who she was gonna marry yet?! 40 00:01:41,507 --> 00:01:43,123 Simon, Mitch, or Bob? Simon, Mitch, or Bob? 41 00:01:44,460 --> 00:01:46,510 So I took a cab. 42 00:01:48,014 --> 00:01:51,131 Plus, I wanted to tell all of you my decision together. 43 00:01:51,183 --> 00:01:53,100 So who's the lucky guy? 44 00:01:53,135 --> 00:01:55,886 Well, I was up all night picturing myself 45 00:01:55,938 --> 00:01:58,439 married to each one of them, and only one of them felt right. 46 00:01:58,474 --> 00:01:59,473 - Mitch? - No. 47 00:01:59,525 --> 00:02:00,557 - Bob? - No. 48 00:02:00,610 --> 00:02:02,893 Simon! I knew it! 49 00:02:02,945 --> 00:02:05,562 Yes, it's Simon. It's always been Simon. 50 00:02:05,615 --> 00:02:07,982 He was my first love, and when he came back into my life, 51 00:02:07,984 --> 00:02:09,650 it just felt like destiny. 52 00:02:09,652 --> 00:02:10,985 Oh, that is wonderful, sweetie. 53 00:02:11,037 --> 00:02:12,319 Have you told him yet? 54 00:02:12,321 --> 00:02:15,406 No, I have to break the news to Bob and Mitch first. 55 00:02:15,458 --> 00:02:17,541 I owe them that. How are you gonna tell Mitch? 56 00:02:17,576 --> 00:02:19,543 Oh, I have it all planned out 57 00:02:19,578 --> 00:02:21,245 so we part as friends. 58 00:02:21,297 --> 00:02:23,797 I go over in my black dress that makes me look sorry 59 00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:26,216 but in a hot way. 60 00:02:26,252 --> 00:02:28,502 I reference his best qualities: 61 00:02:28,554 --> 00:02:31,338 He's handsome, kind, 62 00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:33,724 handsome. 63 00:02:33,759 --> 00:02:37,594 We kiss farewell and he asks... No, insists 64 00:02:37,647 --> 00:02:39,229 that we remain good friends. 65 00:02:39,265 --> 00:02:41,982 [Cell phone rings] 66 00:02:42,018 --> 00:02:45,019 It's Mitch. 67 00:02:45,021 --> 00:02:47,688 Hello. 68 00:02:47,690 --> 00:02:49,239 What do you mean, we'll never be friends? 69 00:02:49,275 --> 00:02:51,442 How did you... 70 00:02:51,494 --> 00:02:53,494 He bugged the living room. 71 00:02:56,999 --> 00:02:59,533 Well, you're a detective, I suppose that's normal. 72 00:02:59,535 --> 00:03:02,753 [Mouthing] 73 00:03:02,788 --> 00:03:04,505 Cameras, too? 74 00:03:11,764 --> 00:03:14,431 [Upbeat music] 75 00:03:16,105 --> 00:03:19,886 synced and corrected by oykubuyuk www.addic7ed.com 76 00:03:22,024 --> 00:03:25,109 Okay, I think I found the last one. 77 00:03:25,144 --> 00:03:27,194 Hmm, you know, it's funny. 78 00:03:27,229 --> 00:03:28,979 I had no idea those cameras were there, 79 00:03:29,031 --> 00:03:31,699 but now that they're gone, I kind of miss them. 80 00:03:35,621 --> 00:03:37,654 I'm going to New York with you. 81 00:03:37,707 --> 00:03:39,490 What? 82 00:03:39,542 --> 00:03:42,326 The heat's on. I've gotta get out of town. 83 00:03:43,662 --> 00:03:45,496 Last night at the council meeting, 84 00:03:45,548 --> 00:03:46,880 Elka announced that she has a plan 85 00:03:46,916 --> 00:03:48,966 to bring a thousand jobs to Cleveland. 86 00:03:49,001 --> 00:03:51,969 - She has no plan. - Why would you do that? 87 00:03:52,004 --> 00:03:54,221 The mayor was being all braggy. 88 00:03:54,256 --> 00:03:57,508 You know how I get. 89 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:01,261 Fine. Fine, but I am not introducing you to Brad Pitt. 90 00:04:01,263 --> 00:04:03,480 We'll see. 91 00:04:06,736 --> 00:04:08,736 Oh, hey. Did you break the news to Bob? 92 00:04:08,771 --> 00:04:10,104 Not yet. 93 00:04:10,156 --> 00:04:12,106 I tried to call, but I haven't been able to reach him. 94 00:04:12,108 --> 00:04:13,857 I hate to let him down. He's so sweet. 95 00:04:13,909 --> 00:04:15,609 He really is, 96 00:04:15,611 --> 00:04:17,494 but right now, you and Simon should be together. 97 00:04:17,530 --> 00:04:19,079 I have to tell Bob first. 98 00:04:19,115 --> 00:04:20,697 Well, let me tell him. 99 00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:22,750 We're friends. I will let him down gently. 100 00:04:22,785 --> 00:04:24,251 - Really? - Yes. 101 00:04:24,286 --> 00:04:26,870 So go and plan your perfect Scottish wedding. 102 00:04:26,922 --> 00:04:28,205 Oh, Melanie, thank you. 103 00:04:28,257 --> 00:04:31,925 Go, be with the man you love. 104 00:04:31,961 --> 00:04:34,511 Oh, I can't believe I'm getting married. 105 00:04:34,547 --> 00:04:36,547 Oh, I can picture it now: 106 00:04:36,599 --> 00:04:39,850 A Scottish castle, the groomsmen in kilts, 107 00:04:39,885 --> 00:04:41,552 and at the end of the night, 108 00:04:41,604 --> 00:04:44,521 my darling Simon heroically pumping the bagpipes. 109 00:04:47,193 --> 00:04:50,227 Don't call yourself names, Joy. 110 00:04:56,986 --> 00:04:58,902 I know this is hard for you, Bob. 111 00:04:58,954 --> 00:05:00,454 I'm so sorry. 112 00:05:00,489 --> 00:05:03,991 Well, I knew proposing was a long shot. 113 00:05:03,993 --> 00:05:04,992 I mean, I talk a good game, 114 00:05:05,044 --> 00:05:07,661 but I know Joy's out of my league. 115 00:05:07,663 --> 00:05:10,464 I just thought this time I'd found the one. 116 00:05:10,499 --> 00:05:12,666 Oh. I've been there. 117 00:05:12,718 --> 00:05:14,802 I... I've gotten close a few times. 118 00:05:14,837 --> 00:05:18,472 It didn't work out, and it... it hurts. 119 00:05:18,507 --> 00:05:21,508 But you are a smart, funny, wonderful man. 120 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,393 [Sighs] You're right. 121 00:05:23,429 --> 00:05:24,728 I am handsome. 122 00:05:24,763 --> 00:05:26,396 Yes. 123 00:05:26,432 --> 00:05:27,598 And handsome. 124 00:05:27,650 --> 00:05:29,900 And there are so many women out there 125 00:05:29,935 --> 00:05:33,020 who could easily fall in love with you. 126 00:05:41,747 --> 00:05:43,030 Oh, God. 127 00:05:43,032 --> 00:05:45,532 I hope there are no more hidden cameras in this house. 128 00:05:56,846 --> 00:05:58,846 Joy. 129 00:05:58,881 --> 00:06:01,265 Have you made your decision? 130 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:03,383 Yes, Simon. 131 00:06:03,385 --> 00:06:04,885 I will marry you. 132 00:06:04,887 --> 00:06:07,855 Joy, mm, you've made me so happy. 133 00:06:08,891 --> 00:06:11,024 - Hello. - Oh! 134 00:06:12,811 --> 00:06:14,695 - Who's she? - Oh, her. 135 00:06:14,730 --> 00:06:16,313 Um, this is... 136 00:06:16,365 --> 00:06:18,315 Uh, [Laughs] 137 00:06:18,367 --> 00:06:21,235 We are so gonna laugh about this at our 50th wedding anniversary. 138 00:06:21,237 --> 00:06:23,904 This is my wife. 139 00:06:28,336 --> 00:06:30,670 - Your wife? - This is Yesenia. 140 00:06:30,705 --> 00:06:32,255 Hello. 141 00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:34,457 What the hell is going on? 142 00:06:34,459 --> 00:06:35,842 How could you propose to me 143 00:06:35,877 --> 00:06:37,793 and not tell me you were already married? 144 00:06:37,846 --> 00:06:38,878 Well, I thought you would say no. 145 00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:40,546 - I would have said no. - Exactly. 146 00:06:40,598 --> 00:06:43,216 Yesenia and I are only married in the legal sense. 147 00:06:43,268 --> 00:06:46,135 We're not married in a spiritual sense or a sexual sense 148 00:06:46,137 --> 00:06:49,772 or a pretending to listen to long boring stories sense. 149 00:06:49,807 --> 00:06:51,724 Simon, how did this happen? 150 00:06:51,776 --> 00:06:53,943 Look, I was filming the Civil War in her country. 151 00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,978 Yesenia was alone and abandoned. 152 00:06:56,030 --> 00:06:58,030 The rebels were taking over the city. 153 00:06:58,066 --> 00:07:00,533 The only way I could get her out of the country was to marry her. 154 00:07:00,568 --> 00:07:01,901 He was so kind. 155 00:07:01,953 --> 00:07:03,786 He took me, even though in my country 156 00:07:03,821 --> 00:07:06,289 I'm past the age of marriage and no man would want me. 157 00:07:06,324 --> 00:07:07,540 How old are you? 158 00:07:07,575 --> 00:07:09,408 23. 159 00:07:11,629 --> 00:07:14,163 Yesenia, could we have a moment? 160 00:07:16,584 --> 00:07:18,334 Look, Joy, nothing has to change. 161 00:07:18,386 --> 00:07:20,920 We can still get married, eventually, 162 00:07:20,972 --> 00:07:23,506 as soon as Yesenia can stay here legally. 163 00:07:23,508 --> 00:07:25,424 Until then, just for immigration, 164 00:07:25,476 --> 00:07:27,760 you have to pretend to be our maid. 165 00:07:27,812 --> 00:07:30,012 - Your maid?! - It's just a title. 166 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:33,065 We'll all pitch in together. 167 00:07:33,101 --> 00:07:35,401 - So we're good? - No! 168 00:07:35,436 --> 00:07:37,570 What really infuriates me 169 00:07:37,605 --> 00:07:39,572 is you doing something so utterly stupid 170 00:07:39,607 --> 00:07:41,857 and humanitarian 171 00:07:41,859 --> 00:07:43,993 that I can't get mad without feeling like a jerk. 172 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,495 Then let's just move past the anger 173 00:07:46,531 --> 00:07:48,114 and go straight to the makeup sex. 174 00:07:48,166 --> 00:07:51,200 Makeup sex? Sounds wonderful. 175 00:07:51,202 --> 00:07:53,703 Should we ask your sexy, young wife to join us? 176 00:07:55,123 --> 00:07:57,206 I feel like that's a trick question. 177 00:07:58,676 --> 00:07:59,675 It's a joke! 178 00:08:02,513 --> 00:08:05,214 Okay, Victoria, you are the queen 179 00:08:05,266 --> 00:08:06,882 waiting for the Republic's ambassador, 180 00:08:06,884 --> 00:08:08,551 played by Brad Pitt, 181 00:08:08,603 --> 00:08:10,720 who has just landed on your planet. 182 00:08:10,722 --> 00:08:14,106 Uh, about my costume... 183 00:08:14,142 --> 00:08:16,892 No, no, that's just the motion capture suit. 184 00:08:16,894 --> 00:08:19,028 Your character will be digitally rendered in post. 185 00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,363 All right? Let's get started. 186 00:08:20,398 --> 00:08:22,398 But Brad isn't here yet. 187 00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:24,233 Oh, no, Mr. Pitt's not coming to New York. 188 00:08:24,285 --> 00:08:26,869 See, the beauty of these special effects is, 189 00:08:26,904 --> 00:08:28,454 you don't even have to be in the same country. 190 00:08:28,489 --> 00:08:31,040 But I can't film a love scene without my lover. 191 00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:33,042 Vern. 192 00:08:35,463 --> 00:08:37,880 He's Brad Pitt? 193 00:08:37,915 --> 00:08:40,416 No, no. 194 00:08:40,418 --> 00:08:42,051 That's Brad Pitt. 195 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:43,586 A tennis ball? 196 00:08:43,638 --> 00:08:45,638 We'll CGI Brad in later. 197 00:08:45,673 --> 00:08:48,507 This tennis ball represents the future of your race. 198 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,259 Now, make love to it. 199 00:08:52,397 --> 00:08:55,931 I feel sorry for the tennis ball. 200 00:08:55,984 --> 00:08:58,601 You want a cupcake? They're from film New York. 201 00:08:58,653 --> 00:08:59,735 What's that? 202 00:08:59,771 --> 00:09:01,270 That's the city film commission. 203 00:09:01,322 --> 00:09:03,272 The city gets a couple thousand jobs. 204 00:09:03,324 --> 00:09:05,691 We get tax breaks. It's a win-win. 205 00:09:05,743 --> 00:09:09,445 Oh, a politician that brings in that many jobs 206 00:09:09,497 --> 00:09:13,749 could sure shut up a braggy mayor. 207 00:09:13,785 --> 00:09:15,251 Who are you again? 208 00:09:15,286 --> 00:09:18,254 Elka Ostrovsky. 209 00:09:18,289 --> 00:09:20,423 Film Cleveland. 210 00:09:21,626 --> 00:09:24,210 All right, and action! 211 00:09:24,262 --> 00:09:26,128 Oh, I love you. 212 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:28,214 Kiss me. 213 00:09:34,722 --> 00:09:35,721 Vern! 214 00:09:35,773 --> 00:09:37,690 Cut! 215 00:09:37,725 --> 00:09:39,025 Victoria, what's wrong? 216 00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:40,776 What's wrong? 217 00:09:40,812 --> 00:09:43,562 I'm kissing a tennis ball. 218 00:09:43,614 --> 00:09:45,031 Maybe it'll help you get into it 219 00:09:45,066 --> 00:09:46,866 if I can show you the model of your character. 220 00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:48,200 Oh, that would be great. 221 00:09:48,236 --> 00:09:51,287 I was picturing a sexy Zoe Saldana type, 222 00:09:51,322 --> 00:09:53,072 you know, like from Avatar. 223 00:09:53,124 --> 00:09:54,123 This is you. 224 00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:56,292 Pretty cool, huh? 225 00:09:56,327 --> 00:09:58,627 We even gave it some of your facial features 226 00:09:58,663 --> 00:10:01,580 so people will forever associate you with the character. 227 00:10:02,667 --> 00:10:04,800 Mirren! 228 00:10:09,590 --> 00:10:11,724 Is that a diary? 229 00:10:11,759 --> 00:10:14,226 Diaries are for girls, Melanie. 230 00:10:14,262 --> 00:10:15,344 This is a journal. 231 00:10:15,396 --> 00:10:17,930 A sex journal. 232 00:10:17,982 --> 00:10:20,015 I've kept track of every conquest 233 00:10:20,068 --> 00:10:23,402 since I was a wide eyed 24 year old. 234 00:10:23,438 --> 00:10:25,354 You're on page three? 235 00:10:27,358 --> 00:10:29,575 It's not necessarily my first journal. 236 00:10:29,610 --> 00:10:31,944 It says "volume one" right there on the cover. 237 00:10:34,115 --> 00:10:35,698 Oh, well. 238 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:37,083 I get two thumbs up, huh? 239 00:10:37,118 --> 00:10:40,753 Oh, those are not thumbs. 240 00:10:46,711 --> 00:10:49,095 What does "BPSE" mean? 241 00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:50,880 Best pity sex ever. 242 00:10:50,932 --> 00:10:54,100 Oh, Bob, you don't have to call it pity sex. 243 00:10:54,135 --> 00:10:56,685 How else could I describe it? 244 00:10:56,721 --> 00:10:59,138 I felt sorry for you. 245 00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:00,606 Wait. 246 00:11:00,641 --> 00:11:03,526 You think you had pity sex with me? 247 00:11:03,561 --> 00:11:05,394 No, no, no. I had pity sex with you, 248 00:11:05,446 --> 00:11:08,114 because I felt sorry for you because you can never have Joy. 249 00:11:08,149 --> 00:11:09,899 And I plan to change that. 250 00:11:09,951 --> 00:11:12,401 Now more than ever, I realize that Joy is the one for me. 251 00:11:12,453 --> 00:11:15,321 Sex with you confirmed that. 252 00:11:18,743 --> 00:11:20,409 Well, my agent confirmed it. 253 00:11:20,461 --> 00:11:22,411 Mirren tricked me into taking that movie 254 00:11:22,463 --> 00:11:25,297 so she could steal my part in that HBO series. 255 00:11:25,333 --> 00:11:28,300 My advice, Victoria, is to let it go. 256 00:11:28,336 --> 00:11:30,469 You're right. 257 00:11:30,505 --> 00:11:33,339 No, I should quit the movie, destroy Mirren, 258 00:11:33,391 --> 00:11:35,474 and take back what is rightfully mine. 259 00:11:36,978 --> 00:11:39,228 I need something underhanded and devious. 260 00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:42,565 Oh, WWLD. 261 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,733 What would Lucci do? 262 00:11:44,769 --> 00:11:46,101 I should call her. 263 00:11:46,154 --> 00:11:48,437 You're gonna call your oldest enemy? 264 00:11:48,489 --> 00:11:50,990 First of all, my oldest enemy is time. 265 00:11:52,994 --> 00:11:55,161 And second, you know the saying, 266 00:11:55,196 --> 00:11:56,946 keep your friends close 267 00:11:56,948 --> 00:11:59,081 and your enemy of your friend 268 00:11:59,116 --> 00:12:01,867 as close as the friend of your enemy even closer. 269 00:12:03,171 --> 00:12:04,954 This'll cheer you up. 270 00:12:05,006 --> 00:12:08,040 Everyone in town loves my film Cleveland plan. 271 00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:09,842 Why would that cheer me up? 272 00:12:09,877 --> 00:12:11,460 Because you're the spokesperson. 273 00:12:11,512 --> 00:12:13,345 I didn't agree to that. 274 00:12:13,381 --> 00:12:15,598 But it's a win-win. 275 00:12:15,633 --> 00:12:17,550 I bring film jobs to Cleveland 276 00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:19,468 and stick it to the mayor. 277 00:12:21,138 --> 00:12:22,438 And what do I get? 278 00:12:22,473 --> 00:12:26,108 I said it was win-win, not win-win-win. 279 00:12:32,066 --> 00:12:33,699 Simon's already married. 280 00:12:33,734 --> 00:12:35,234 - Married? - Are you kidding? 281 00:12:35,286 --> 00:12:37,820 The whole time he was proposing to me, 282 00:12:37,822 --> 00:12:39,955 he was already married to another woman. I hate him! 283 00:12:39,991 --> 00:12:43,075 - That bastard. - Son of a bitch. 284 00:12:43,127 --> 00:12:44,910 I can't hate him. 285 00:12:44,962 --> 00:12:46,795 The woman is from a war-ravaged country, 286 00:12:46,831 --> 00:12:48,664 and he married her to save her life. 287 00:12:48,666 --> 00:12:50,299 - Oh, he saved her life. - Oh, that's so sweet. 288 00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,167 It's not sweet! 289 00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:55,087 He should have told me first, but he just thinks of himself. 290 00:12:55,139 --> 00:12:57,172 - Oh, who does that? - So self centered. 291 00:12:57,174 --> 00:12:59,091 Not totally self centered. 292 00:12:59,143 --> 00:13:00,643 I just told you, he saved a life. 293 00:13:00,678 --> 00:13:02,344 Okay, I'm confused. 294 00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:05,180 Which opinion should we echo and pretend is our own? 295 00:13:07,151 --> 00:13:09,902 This morning I was getting married to the love of my life. 296 00:13:09,937 --> 00:13:13,522 And now, the love of my life is married to a hot 23-year-old, 297 00:13:13,574 --> 00:13:15,574 and he expects me to wait for him. 298 00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:16,992 I don't know what to do. 299 00:13:17,028 --> 00:13:18,277 Joy. 300 00:13:18,329 --> 00:13:20,195 - Simon. - I love you. 301 00:13:20,197 --> 00:13:22,414 - I don't want to hear that. - I want to marry you. 302 00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:23,749 I don't want to hear that either. 303 00:13:23,784 --> 00:13:25,117 I'm getting a divorce. 304 00:13:25,169 --> 00:13:26,702 I'm listening. 305 00:13:31,665 --> 00:13:33,748 I'll start divorce proceedings right away. 306 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,000 It'll be just the two of us, just you and me. 307 00:13:36,002 --> 00:13:37,469 - Really? - Yes, really. 308 00:13:37,504 --> 00:13:38,920 To the bedroom, future wife! 309 00:13:38,972 --> 00:13:42,006 Oh, my God! This is really happening. 310 00:13:42,008 --> 00:13:43,591 Yes, it's really happening. 311 00:13:43,643 --> 00:13:44,642 To the bedroom! 312 00:13:44,678 --> 00:13:46,928 Oh, no, wait. What about Yesenia? 313 00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:49,514 Oh. Oh, she'll be okay. 314 00:13:49,516 --> 00:13:52,016 I promise. We'll figure it out somehow. 315 00:13:52,018 --> 00:13:54,235 - To the bedroom! - Yes! No, wait. 316 00:13:54,271 --> 00:13:56,354 What do you mean "somehow"? 317 00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:58,823 Look, Joy, after years and years apart, 318 00:13:58,859 --> 00:14:00,909 we're finally getting our happily ever after. 319 00:14:00,944 --> 00:14:03,194 - Can we just enjoy the moment? - Yes. 320 00:14:04,698 --> 00:14:07,365 Hello. 321 00:14:07,367 --> 00:14:10,585 Yesenia. What are you doing here? 322 00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:12,871 Uh, maybe put me down now. 323 00:14:14,458 --> 00:14:16,341 I'm so sorry to interrupt, but I've just heard 324 00:14:16,376 --> 00:14:17,792 that my father's been arrested. 325 00:14:17,844 --> 00:14:19,794 I have to go back home. 326 00:14:19,846 --> 00:14:21,963 In my country, I can't travel without my husband. 327 00:14:24,184 --> 00:14:26,684 Of course your husband will go with you. 328 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,186 Oh, thank you. 329 00:14:28,221 --> 00:14:30,221 Would you excuse us? 330 00:14:32,893 --> 00:14:34,025 Joy. 331 00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:35,560 If you don't go back to help her, 332 00:14:35,562 --> 00:14:38,313 you'll hate yourself, and I'll hate myself. 333 00:14:38,365 --> 00:14:40,315 Look, I'll... I'll go and I'll come back to you 334 00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:42,367 as soon as I can, and then we can be together. 335 00:14:42,402 --> 00:14:44,285 Oh, Simon. 336 00:14:46,239 --> 00:14:48,740 I've said that before, haven't I? 337 00:14:48,792 --> 00:14:51,576 Yes, you have. 338 00:14:51,578 --> 00:14:53,628 Many times. 339 00:14:53,663 --> 00:14:55,713 It's your pattern. 340 00:14:55,749 --> 00:14:57,799 You're impulsive and unpredictable. 341 00:14:57,834 --> 00:15:00,251 And you love that about me. 342 00:15:00,303 --> 00:15:02,253 I do. 343 00:15:02,255 --> 00:15:04,589 But I don't love it about us. 344 00:15:04,641 --> 00:15:06,925 It's always very exciting, 345 00:15:06,927 --> 00:15:10,562 but it's not a relationship. 346 00:15:10,597 --> 00:15:13,398 So what are you saying? 347 00:15:13,433 --> 00:15:15,850 I'm saying I can't marry you. 348 00:15:17,404 --> 00:15:20,271 You're great at the grand gesture. 349 00:15:20,273 --> 00:15:22,607 But relationships are about what happens 350 00:15:22,659 --> 00:15:24,526 after the grand gesture. 351 00:15:24,578 --> 00:15:26,861 It's the little everyday moments in between 352 00:15:26,913 --> 00:15:28,830 that make up a life, 353 00:15:28,865 --> 00:15:31,583 and that's not you. 354 00:15:33,670 --> 00:15:35,286 I can change. 355 00:15:37,791 --> 00:15:39,841 I've said that before, too, haven't I? 356 00:15:39,876 --> 00:15:42,126 Yes. 357 00:15:46,099 --> 00:15:48,967 So this is it? 358 00:15:49,019 --> 00:15:51,469 We have a son and a grandson together. 359 00:15:53,306 --> 00:15:55,523 We'll always be in each other's lives, and... 360 00:15:57,027 --> 00:15:59,027 I'll always love you. 361 00:15:59,062 --> 00:16:01,145 I'll always love you. 362 00:16:03,283 --> 00:16:04,866 Good-bye, Joy. 363 00:16:06,453 --> 00:16:08,820 Good-bye, Simon. 364 00:16:42,689 --> 00:16:45,490 - Are you all right? - I think I am. 365 00:16:45,525 --> 00:16:47,609 Or at least I will be. 366 00:16:47,661 --> 00:16:49,360 He'll always be my first love, 367 00:16:49,412 --> 00:16:51,245 but I know I made the right decision. 368 00:16:51,281 --> 00:16:52,830 Of course you did, sweetie. 369 00:16:52,866 --> 00:16:55,533 You know, if something like this had happened in my 20s, 370 00:16:55,585 --> 00:16:57,869 I'd be depressed and in bed for a month. 371 00:16:57,921 --> 00:16:59,170 - But now... - In your 30s. 372 00:16:59,205 --> 00:17:03,091 Yes. Surrounded by friends, 373 00:17:03,126 --> 00:17:04,759 I know I'll be okay. 374 00:17:04,794 --> 00:17:08,379 In some ways, I think you guys 375 00:17:08,381 --> 00:17:12,183 are the long-term relationship I was destined for. 376 00:17:12,218 --> 00:17:14,686 I want to see other people. 377 00:17:20,026 --> 00:17:21,809 Good, you're all here. 378 00:17:21,861 --> 00:17:23,945 Joy, I have two things to tell you, 379 00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:25,697 and it's best that there are witnesses. 380 00:17:25,732 --> 00:17:28,149 First, a confession. 381 00:17:28,201 --> 00:17:30,735 When Melanie told me the news, she was so sad 382 00:17:30,787 --> 00:17:33,905 that I made love to her out of pity. 383 00:17:35,742 --> 00:17:37,325 I pitied you! 384 00:17:37,377 --> 00:17:39,577 Says the single, middle aged woman 385 00:17:39,579 --> 00:17:41,295 to the successful bachelor. 386 00:17:44,501 --> 00:17:46,084 Why are you telling me this? 387 00:17:46,136 --> 00:17:47,752 Because I never want there to be anything 388 00:17:47,804 --> 00:17:50,972 but absolute honesty between us, Joy. 389 00:17:51,007 --> 00:17:52,840 And secondly, now that I'm done 390 00:17:52,892 --> 00:17:54,892 comforting Melanie... 391 00:17:56,062 --> 00:17:58,262 I'll be devoting myself solely to you 392 00:17:58,264 --> 00:18:01,015 because some day Simon will slip up, 393 00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:02,900 and on that day, 394 00:18:02,936 --> 00:18:04,185 I will be there for you. 395 00:18:04,237 --> 00:18:05,853 She just dumped Simon. 396 00:18:05,905 --> 00:18:07,605 Then as first runner-up, 397 00:18:07,657 --> 00:18:09,824 I guess I'll be assuming his duties. 398 00:18:11,528 --> 00:18:14,328 No, you don't get to automatically marry Joy 399 00:18:14,364 --> 00:18:15,997 just because she didn't choose Simon. 400 00:18:16,032 --> 00:18:18,499 You know, I find it sad that most Americans 401 00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:20,952 don't even know their own laws. 402 00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:25,456 You're very sweet, Bob, 403 00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:27,508 but I'm not really looking for any husband right now. 404 00:18:27,544 --> 00:18:30,344 I get it. And that's smart. 405 00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:32,130 Throw yourself into your work. 406 00:18:32,182 --> 00:18:34,549 And what will happen to you? 407 00:18:34,601 --> 00:18:37,301 Oh, I'll see you at work. 408 00:18:37,303 --> 00:18:39,804 I bought back the detective agency from Mitch. 409 00:18:39,856 --> 00:18:42,106 He really hates you. 410 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,110 You two working together, won't that be awkward? 411 00:18:46,146 --> 00:18:47,812 At first. 412 00:18:47,814 --> 00:18:49,931 But then it'll turn to mild discomfort, 413 00:18:49,966 --> 00:18:52,383 then to amused tolerance, 414 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:55,520 and naturally, to love. 415 00:18:57,941 --> 00:18:59,891 And, Melanie, I know you're hurting right now... 416 00:18:59,943 --> 00:19:02,143 - Okay, you need to leave now. - That's right, Melanie, 417 00:19:02,145 --> 00:19:04,312 you be strong. You hide your pain, Melanie. 418 00:19:12,116 --> 00:19:14,583 - Oh, my God. - What? 419 00:19:14,619 --> 00:19:17,036 Helen Mirren was in a freak accident in London. 420 00:19:17,088 --> 00:19:20,456 Someone pushed her into the Thames. 421 00:19:20,508 --> 00:19:22,875 The incident was captured on camera 422 00:19:22,927 --> 00:19:25,044 by CC TV. 423 00:19:25,096 --> 00:19:26,595 Oh, dear. 424 00:19:28,716 --> 00:19:31,517 Doctors say Mirren is unharmed 425 00:19:31,552 --> 00:19:33,969 but, shaken by the incident, has opted out 426 00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:36,272 of her forthcoming HBO series. 427 00:19:36,307 --> 00:19:38,858 Someone pushed her into the river! 428 00:19:38,893 --> 00:19:40,526 Who would do something like that? 429 00:19:40,561 --> 00:19:43,812 I have a major announcement to make! 430 00:19:45,399 --> 00:19:46,982 Does it have anything to do with the fact 431 00:19:47,034 --> 00:19:48,233 that you're carrying a harrods bag 432 00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:50,133 and Helen Mirren just fell into the Thames? 433 00:19:50,331 --> 00:19:53,631 It does. I got my HBO part back. 434 00:19:54,030 --> 00:19:57,030 I would've told you about the plan but Lucci wanted to keep it a secret. 435 00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:01,630 Oh look, they are talking it about in TV. Turn it up. 436 00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:06,230 Mirren was pulled from the Thames by American actress Susan Lucci. 437 00:20:08,530 --> 00:20:10,630 What, what? That wasn't part of the plan. 438 00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:14,291 A gratefull Mirren has promised to cast Lucci in her next film. 439 00:20:14,315 --> 00:20:17,330 To be directed by Martin Scorsese. 440 00:20:17,354 --> 00:20:21,453 Could an Oscar for Lucci be their award for her heroic act? 441 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:25,730 Mirren. Lucci. 442 00:20:26,630 --> 00:20:28,730 Mirucci. 443 00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:33,330 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0